Not Myself

(from Jenn)

Speaking of normal...  I'm not feeling it!

Not sure why, but I just haven't felt like myself for awhile.  I'm riding, but I haven't been very good about running and/or walking, and I can't remember the last time I swam.  I just have absolutely no desire or motivation to get in the pool, and I don't know why...

Actually, I feel a bit like I did after my Ironman.  Once it was over, I got a little depressed, because the goal I'd been working toward for a year had come and gone, and there was nothing on the horizon to look forward to.  Of course, two weeks later we signed up for IMAZ, and that helped a little, but now we've accepted that that's not going to happen and I think I'm grieving the loss.

Only I don't think I really have accepted it...  I think in the back of my mind I'm still dreaming of it, visualizing it, holding out hope that maybe, just maybe...

But Derek still doesn't know how to swim.  Neither of us has made much progress toward our weight loss goals (though we're on the right track with this challenge!).  We really don't have the money to get him all the gear he'd need, or pay for our travel expenses out there.  And now we're going on vacation with my family earlier in November, so Derek won't be able to take any more time off from student teaching.

Yeah, not gonna happen.  And I'm sad.  Because I don't feel like myself.

So, what should I do?  Sign up for another race perhaps?  Hmm...